(Photo: Grace with the neighborhood boy)
What makes someone desirable definitely changes in our different cultural settings. The western ideals don’t hold up worldwide. Sometimes just being foreign (in whatever context you are currently in) can make one more desirable. Sometimes being perceived as rich is the deciding charm. Or sometimes it is a simple matter of beauty. But what is beautiful?
Some of our thinner teammates (a Western ideal) have been criticized for their weight here, even to the point that they were told it was unattractive. During our first weeks here, Tom was the subject of a lot of murmuring among women because of his good looks. Not that he isn’t considered handsome in the West, but his darker look and black hair is seen as the ideal here. I was stopped on the street by complete strangers to inquire about the good-looking man I was with, and subsequently I was told to keep a close eye on him when they found out he was my husband.
Sometimes you aren’t sure why you are being approached. All three of us have received marriage proposals since coming here, and while we might want to believe it is because of our beauty my best guess is that it is because of our nationality or our perceived wealth? I was approached by a very muscled man who assured me his physique would help him fit in in America (after our marriage, that is). But then there were other people that came up to us who seemed completely nonplused to hear that Tom & I are married, so then the question becomes, “Am I being purposed to or propositioned?” Sometimes the morality and marriage norms on the island make it hard to know.
But probably the most disconcerting aspect of this kind of attention is the attention directed at Grace. Just this week a grown man in the market asked to be Grace’s fiancé. This is not the first marriage proposal from strange full-grown men we have received for Grace. “She’s a baby!”, I protest. “Yes, but she’ll get bigger,” was the response. We usually follow-up with a quick, “no.”
More understandably (at least in our minds) there are the mothers who point to their little toddler boys and joke about betrothing them to Grace. They are joking, right??? Then there are all the little boys who have taken a liking to Grace. There are the young boys on our team who all smother Grace with hugs whenever she enters the door. There is the little 9 month-old who lives in the attached house and loves to practice standing using Grace as a support. And there is our 2 ½ year old neighborhood boy who has suddenly taken a fancy to Grace, (desperately trying to get her to stand still so he can kiss her cheek, helping her on the stairs and returning her to Tom when he thought she shouldn’t be out on the porch anymore). Something tells us Grace will never want for suitors while she is here.
PRAYERS ANSWERED
We have been able to look at our week and find new weekly schedule that hopefully allows us to spend a lot of time learning language in the midst of teaching English and planning lessons. Our new team members are settling into their new homes.
PRAYERS REQUESTED
August is going to be a crazy month. A team of almost 20 that was going to visit one of the other islands suddenly had to change their plans, so we will be helping to host them in just two weeks. A new potential team member will be visiting this coming week. Pray that God would show here what He wants for her as she deals with these life changing decisions. A long-term short-termer (11 months) will be arriving at the end of the month to be connected with our team while he is here. Pray that all the logistics and planning for all these visitors, guests and teammates will go smoothly and not add too much stress. We need to rearrange our local language lessons, pray that our language tutors will be flexible. Tom has the opportunity to start meeting weekly with a neighbor, pray as he chooses what to do with this man.
